1. I’m lazy
I watch some of these training schedules and think, “when do they have time to play video games or watch TV.”

2. I like food way too damn much

3. I’m a klutz
I can barely make it from my car to my house when its snowing, I can only imagine flying down an icy hill at 90 mph with 2 sticks attached to my feet.

4. Luge
These people are just friggin’ nuts

5. I’m too old
In a world where 30 is considered over the hill, what is my 45 year-old arse considered?  And can you imagine the look on their faces when you ask them to turn down the heat in the Olympic village because you’re having hot flashes!

6. I don’t fly
Does Amtrak go to Moscow?

7. I don’t have the dedication
So let me get this straight… I have an injury causing me severe pain and I’m supposed to WANT to go out there and make it hurt more … I think not.

8. Too much temptation
I’m not supposed to be hitting on all the beautiful 23 year-old boys (did you see the mogles potium, yum!)?

9. I’m not big on bling
That medal is as big as Flava Flavs clock!  I’d fall over.

10. I couldn’t be without my dogs.

11. I don’t like being broke
So you want me to pay a coach 70K a year and be unemployed so I can do nothing but train?  No wonder I’m not eating!  (My little soap box … I think we should support our olympians financially like every other country in the world)

12. Seriously, you look at the concentration on these people’s faces in spite of crowds and camera’s.  I’d be freaking out and jumping around like Daffy Duck.

13. When are they making writing an Olympic sport?

1. Slipping on snow wonking out my knee

2. Throwing out my back limping on my knee

3. Woman before me at the chiropractor must have been wearing a bottle of perfume, thought I was going to pass out from the smell of the table.

4. Snow so high its over the dogs head so I have to shovel a path for the dog to relieve herself … back unhappy with this.

5. Crying at Celebrity Rehab when McKenzie Phillips put her dog to sleep

6. Men on dating site who don’t understand the words “I don’t want a long distance relationship” or “I don’t go out with married / attached men”

7. Being single valentines weekend.

8. Not writing as much as I want to.

9. Being unemployeed

10. insomnia

11. insomnia (yeah, frustrating enough … had to say it twice)

12. Weather obsessed mother in Florida who keeps calling to ask “how’s the weather” in the middle of a blizzard.  How do you think it is!

13. Finding the time and money to do all the things I want to do.

I know you’ve all had at least some of these frustrations and its nothing catastrophic, but venting feels good nonetheless.  Hope everyone has a happy and a healthy VD Day.

wouldn’t it be a wonderful world if fear and desperation made us more attractive … if needy was a turn on
Broadcast News

I was going to be so good you would have left your body three times and begged it to get back in when you saw how much fun it was having
Murphy Brown

Dr. Egon Spengler: It would be bad.
Dr. Peter Venkman: I’m fuzzy on the whole good/bad thing. What do you mean, “bad”?
Dr. Egon Spengler: Try to imagine all life as you know it stopping instantaneously and every molecule in your body    exploding at the speed of light.
Dr Ray Stantz: Total protonic reversal.
Dr. Peter Venkman: Right. That’s bad. Okay. All right. Important safety tip. Thanks, Egon.
Ghostbusters

King Arthur: The lady of the lake, her arms outstreached, pulled forth the shimmering samite. Signifying by devine providence that I Arthur should carry Excalibur. That is why I am your king!
Dennis: Listen. Strange women laying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses not from some farcical aquatic cerimony.
Monty Python and the Holy Grail

Inigo Montoya: You are using Bonetti’s Defense against me, ah?
Man in Black: I thought it fitting considering the rocky terrain.
Inigo Montoya: Naturally, you must suspect me to attack with Capa Ferro?
Man in Black: Naturally… but I find that Thibault cancels out Capa Ferro. Don’t you?
Inigo Montoya: Unless the enemy has studied his Agrippa… which I have.
Princess bride

Bart: Are we awake?
Jim: We’re not sure. Are we… black?
Bart: Yes, we are.
Jim: Then we’re awake… but we’re very puzzled
Blazing Saddles

Vercotti: Doug (takes a drink) Well, I was terrified. Everyone was terrified of Doug. I’ve seen grown men pull their own heads off rather than see Doug. Even Dinsdale was frightened of Doug.
Interviewer: What did he do?
Vercotti: He used… sarcasm. He knew all the tricks, dramatic irony, metaphor, bathos, puns, parody, litotes and… satire. He was vicious.
Monty Python’s Flying Circus

Loki: Let it never be said that your anal-retentive attention to detail never yielded positive results.
Bartleby: You can’t be anal-retentive if you don’t have an anus.
Dogma

That’s a lot of alliteration from anxious anchors put in powerful possitions.
Broadcast News

Stay close to the candles. The stairway can be… treacherous
Young Frankenstein

Hooper: Always some white boy gotta invoke the holy trilogy. Bust this: Those movies are about how the white man keeps the brother man down, even in a galaxy far, far away. Check this shit: You got cracker farm boy Luke Skywalker, Nazi poster boy, blond hair, blue eyes. And then you got Darth Vader, the blackest brother in the galaxy, Nubian god!
Banky Edwards: What’s a Nubian?
Chasing Amy

You can’t touch me now. I’m one of the stately homos of England
The Naked Civil Servent

You know what I’m going to get you next Christmas, Mom? A big wooden cross, so that every time you feel unappreciated for your sacrifices, you can climb on up and nail yourself to it.
The Ref

2. Taking drugs. I try to be careful about taking anti-biotics so I won’t get resistant of them. Well I got desperate when the pain in my throat reached a pain level of 8. I’ve taken 2 courses of Amoxicillin and now he’s got me on Levaquil, which by the way is $17 per pill without insurance $3 with insurance. Pharmaceutical bloodsuckers.

3. No sleep. I wish I was one of those people who could sleep when they’re sick. Slightest discomfort and I’m awake ugh!

4. Not getting anything done. My to do list is so long I had a panic attack.

5. No human contact. I’m just laying around my house like a hermit.

6. Feeling yucky. I turn into a 5 year-old

7. No sleep – this was a biggy, needed to be in there twice.

8. Can’t make plans – Hate having to say, “We’ll see how I’m feeling”.

9. Horrible health insurance. I know I come back to the money thing, but hey I’m unemployed. $500 a month for private health ins and it has a $5k deductible so its completely useless.

10. Doctors who no longer “get you in” when your sick. My doctors office actually told me to go to the clinic because he couldn’t see me for 3 days.

11. I never know what to eat. Don’t have the energy to cook so I’m spending even more money on take-out. (and yes I seem to be a bit obsessed about money these days).

12. Feeling like I’m never going to be healthy again.

13. Being emotional. I seem to be really emotional when I’m sick. I’ve been crying at the oddest television shows.

Oh well. Hopefully the next TT I’ll be all better and my list will be a bit more fun!

1. Republicans claiming they are blocking healthcare reform on principle, and not just to undermine the current administration.
Jim DeMint: “If we can stop healthcare reform, it will be Obama’s Waterloo … it will crush him!”

2. John McCain pontificating about how in his 20 years in the Senate he had never heard of a member not being given an extra few minutes to finish their remarks.
During the vote on the Iraq war – Senator Dayton : “I’d like an extra 30 seconds to finish my remarks.” John McCain: “I object!”

3. Joe Lieberman stated two things prominently when he was threatening to filibuster healthcare reform. First that he does not believe in the public option or a healthcare buy in and second he would use his power as a “single Senator” to make sure it never passes if it included those things..
Problem: In early 2000 Joe Lieberman co-sponsored a bill to abolish the filibuster. During his campaign for Vice President, he lobbied for a medicare buy-in for people 55 and over. He is also caucusing with the Democrats and holds a very prestigious committee chair, my question is why????

4. Blogojevich – if his mouth is moving, he’s lying …’nuff said.

5. James “Mountain” Inhofe. Now I’m not sure if this man is an out and out liar or just a moron. He was the Senator who was going to go to Copenhagen with his “Truth Squad” and prove that global warming was a hoax. He got to Copenhagen with his “Squad” of one staffer, couldn’t find anyone to take a meeting with him or any press to listen to him, turned around and came back to the US spending a grand total of 3 hrs in Sweden. Here is one of my favorite quotes of his : “The Climatic Research Unit e-mails show that the science behind climate change “has been pretty well debunked.”

6. Michelle Bachmann: “Page 92 of the House health care bill “says specifically that people can’t purchase private health insurance after a date certain.” Another doosey from her is: ACORN will be a paid partner with the Census Bureau and “they will be in charge of going door-to-door and collecting data from the American public.” And on the same note: Says the Constitution only requires her to tell the census “how many people are in our home.” Maybe its time for the great Senator from MN to read the constitution.

7. Again not sure if its liar or moron, but she’s always there for a good laugh. Our favorite citizen of the meth capital of the world … Sarah Palin: Seniors and the disabled “will have to stand in front of Obama’s ‘death panel’ so his bureaucrats can decide, based on a subjective judgment of their ‘level of productivity in society,’ whether they are worthy of health care.”

8. There are myriad Glenn Beck lies, exaggerations and scare tactics. Way to many to list here, but I will let you in on one of my faves: “John Holdren, director of the White House Office of Science and Technology Policy, “has proposed forcing abortions and putting sterilants in the drinking water to control population.”

9. Betsy McCaughey, another wonderful Death Panalist had this to say at a conservative conference: The health care reform bill “would make it mandatory — absolutely require — that every five years people in Medicare have a required counseling session that will tell them how to end their life sooner.

10. I will put my leftist tendencies aside and give you a few tid bits from Obama: “If you actually took the number of Muslims [sic] Americans, we’d be one of the largest Muslim countries in the world.” Or “And 100 percent, John, of your ads . . . 100 percent of them have been negative.” Granted most of his untruths were based on bad data but Mr. President, you’re the most powerful man in the free world, maybe you should get a really good fact checker!

11. Senator Ben Nelson of Nebraska held out on voting for the health reform bill, basically selling his vote for a Medicaid kickback. When confronted about it, he defended himself by saying: “Medicaid provision added to the Senate health care reform bill is not a special deal for Nebraska.” Yeah and I’m the Pope. The provision clearly states “for the state of Nebraska”.

12. What would be a liar’s list without Newt Gingrich … here’s one of his good ones: Inside the stimulus package “is anti-Christian legislation that will stop churches from using public schools for meeting on Sundays, as well as Boy Scouts and student Bible study groups.”

13. And last but not least, the “fair and balanced” Fox News. If I listed all the lies, hypocrisies and half-truths, I would be writing an Encyclopedia Britannica. Let’s just say that if you’re not a Fox News viewer, you know what I’m talking about. If you’re not, I strongly encourage you to try to find a corroborating source!

2) I have to keep track of gloves!  I lost 3 pair last year.  Even was scouring the stores in March trying to find another pair (good luck right?)  Now I have a brand new pretty pair of isotoners, wonder how long they’ll last.

3) Chicago Grey – I’ve heard rumor of a large yellow ball that sometimes appears in the sky and makes everything bright.  I would really like to experience that phenomenon.

4) Getting way to old to shovel.  I remember the last snow storm we had.  By the time I finished shoveling off my car and the mess the snowplow made behind it, I felt like I had been tackled by a Bears linebacker.

5) Sloppy doggy paws.  ’nuff said

6) Have to listen to 3 months of my mother calling from Florida to ask, “how’s the weather” … and … Have to listen to 3 months of my mother calling from Florida to tell me how lovely it is there.

7) Scaly skin. The heater has only really been on for a few weeks and already my legs look like a snake shedding its skin.  I slather on an ocean of moisturizer and I still reside in ichy hell.  Curse the builder who put my furnace in the ceiling with no room for a humidifier!  Curse the humidifiers that get almost as scaly as I do!

No more Farmer’s Market.  I feel like I’ll never eat fresh produce again.

9) Christmas Season.  I’ve started my moratorium on malls until after New Years.   My ears are already bleeding from Christmas music.  “I’m just a Jew, a lonely Jew, I’d be merry, but I’m Hebrew, I’m just a lonely Jew, on Christmas”  Thanks for that one Kyle!

10) The last time my clumsy ass slipped on the ice and ended up in the ER seems a distant memory, until there’s ice on the ground again.

11) I’ve forgotten to turn off my outside water … Rut Roh!

12) No more walks by the lake .. at least none that don’t involve frost bite.

13) Socks!  I hate wearing socks!  I feet need to breath.  They need to be free.  They get pissed at me when they’ve been cooped up in socks all day.

This feels like pre-Nazi Germany.  The rhetoric of hate being spewed by people like Rush Limbaugh and Glenn Beck besides being dangerous, makes my stomach turn.  This allowing people to show up with guns to town hall meetings where Obama is speaking is just ridiculous.

I watched Micheal Moore’s documentary yesterday and although it was eye opening at some points it was not his best work.  What did strike me though was the clip he showed of FDR.  The last public speech before his death proposing the second bill of rights which included such guarantees as a job with a living wage, an adequate place to live and health care for everyone.  Wow – socialist ideas there, maybe someone should be spewing hate against FDR.

Where are the men and women of vision and conscience now?  I thought Obama was one of those people of vision and conscience, but he keeps backing down.  He’s not fighting for what he knows is right.  He’s not drawing a line in the sand that he should be able to with a filabuster proof Senate

I just get this bad feeling that things are about to escalate.  This country is going to give in to the fear mongering and the hate and the lies and something bad is going to happen.  I’m not sure what form it will take, but I wish whatever it was, we could avoid it.

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